The Joy of Rambling

We are at Walmart. I have a grocery list on my phone. Jim walks behind me, thinking of other things we might need, and announcing them as we go. “Do we have coke at home?” “Yes.”

Down the frozen dinner aisle. “Do we have pizza at home?” “No. That’s why we’re here. I’m picking up pizza.” I load the cart with four pizzas which will last four days. “Do we need coke?” “No, we have it at home.”

I try to scan my list. “Can we get some salty, crunchy things?” “What do you mean by salty and crunchy. Do you want chips?” “No, maybe some veggie thing that is salty and crunchy.” “I can’t think of anything like that,” I say.

Laura wants bacon. We said we’d do BLT’s for dinner. We have the bread, lettuce, and tomatoes at home. Just need to find the bacon. “Do we need coke?” “No, we have plenty at home.”

I find the bacon. It’s in the cart. Victory! I glance at my list. Jelly, English Muffins, Celery. 

“Jim, you said you wanted to start eating celery, so I put it on the list. Should we pick some up?” “No, I don’t really like celery. How about something crunchy and salty?”

I make it to the dairy section. Milk, yogurt, cheese. Check, check, check. “Should we pick up some pizza?” “It’s in the cart” I say. “What about coke?” 

I need hot dog buns for Laura. Already went down the bread aisle but am heading there again. Check.

Finally to the self check-out area. We scan and pay for everything, and on the way out I notice I paid $6.50 for 6 hot dog buns. I look at the package: KETO friendly. You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m exasperated. Jim asks what’s wrong. I just want to blow it off and leave. He asks again. I tell him I paid an outrageous price because I picked up the wrong buns. “Well, bring them back. We have time. I’ll just wait here,” he says.

Now mind you, this is Walmart customer service.  

After waiting fifteen minutes for a guy to get his check cashed into what looked like a million one-dollar bills, I finally get to the counter. My return is quick and easy and I head to the bread aisle for the third time this trip. I find my $1.68 Great Value buns and feel justified in making the effort. I just saved five dollars!

Back to self-check out. I am zipping through like lightening, watching Jim over by the entryway leaning against a wall, holding on to our cart.

I am finally done and reach him in seconds. He doesn’t look happy. “Where the hell were you?” “I was returning the…” “My back is killing me and you just left me standing here for God knows how long!”

“Well, you wanted me to return the hot dog buns”. No response. 

“Let’s go” I say. 

“Do we need coke?”