Category: Alzheimer’s
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When Life Butts In
I wrote this piece recently for a writing assignment dealing with setting. It’s a reflection on a moment in time about eight years ago. Outside the sliding glass door of our lower-level family room, the snow is quietly falling, and I am mesmerized. My husband and I have lived in this home at the top…
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If I had a morsel …
Today I will not dwell on yesterday. Today is the gift I get to open and explore with God’s help. May I make the most of it. *** She swirls, she dances, she personifies merriment. She is perpetually in her glory. She only has an on switch, and there is not a soul who doubts her consistent…
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Without You
I wrote this in June, about a month and a half after losing Jim. Without You Today I went to get my car’s oil changed at the same place we have always taken it on O’Neil in the West End of Greenville. It was our habit to drop the car there and walk the few…
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Life After Alzheimer’s – It’s a Beach
September 10, 2025 It has now been four and a half months since Jim passed. I cried for the first time two weeks ago. I’m not sure why. Grief has its own timetable. Yes, life continues after you walk your loved one to death’s door. You say your goodbye and then what? The feeling is…
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The Retreating Road
5/12/25 Such a journey I am on. I feel nothing. Floating head. Heavy eyelids. I could just sit all day on this couch and do nothing, and that would be fine with me. Do I miss him, or do I miss the purpose I found in caring for him? I don’t think “miss” is the…
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It’s been a while
I’ve typed my thoughts into my phone but haven’t had the will to post them here. I think it is time. Jim passed on April 27, 2025 at 6:00 am. I was by his side and watched him take his last breath. It was surreal. Here is what I wrote very early that morning. April…
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The Goodness of God
It’s 8:38 a.m. on Sunday. In my past life I would have been 8 minutes into our first church service of the morning, leading worship, singing my heart out, aware of every note, beat and vocal harmony offered by my band and team, keeping it all in check while focusing on loving God, feeling His…
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Death is in my house.
I can feel it. Sometimes it stops me short and I can’t breathe. Like now. He is no longer drinking much water. Just enough to take his pills. He hasn’t eaten in a month. And yet, he talks to me. Yesterday he said, “Who wants to go in the pool?” I told him the water…
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I sat outside tonight for a few minutes. Jim’s been going to bed earlier and earlier, so I took advantage of this to enjoy the transition of the sun making its way down, hiding behind a housetop across the street and leaving behind pink and yellow sky that lasted only minutes before turning to darkness.…
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I’ve never been here before
People ask me how I’m doing. Well, I’m tired. My Fitbit tells me I got 8 hours and 10 minutes of sleep, and my sleep score was 83, which is really good for me. And yet, I feel like I drank myself to sleep and have a wicked hangover this morning. Since I quit drinking…
The Joy of Rambling 