The Joy of Rambling

I’ve typed my thoughts into my phone but haven’t had the will to post them here. I think it is time.

Jim passed on April 27, 2025 at 6:00 am. I was by his side and watched him take his last breath. It was surreal.

Here is what I wrote very early that morning.

April 26

It’s 1:00 am. He’s taking short, quick breaths. He’s making the definite gurgling sounds they’ve termed “the death rattle.” And still it doesn’t seem possible that he’s dying. I keep thinking this is all one of his phases… that he’ll pass through this, wake up and want some ice cream. The nurses here keep telling me very matter of factly he’s in the dying process, and until now, I didn’t believe them. 

Lying next to him, the song “Swing Low, sweet Chariot” came to mind. I started singing it aloud to him and then realized what it means. I always thought it was about Elijah being taken up to heaven by a chariot, and it is, but the lyrics are also about inviting death to take a person’s soul to the other side. God gave me that song to sing to Jim, to release him and encourage me. What a blessing.

He’s quieter now and I look over to see if he’s still breathing. He’s on his side, and his shoulder is silhouetted against the soft glow of the dimmed recessed ceiling lights behind him. Up and down, up and down. Rattle or no, he continues to breathe and assures me that the chariot has not yet swung down to pick him up. How long until it arrives? Only God knows.