The Joy of Rambling

I’ve recently discovered an online teacher I really like. Tracy Weinzapfel is a crazy, creative, talented and inspirational artist. Up until now, I’ve been devoted to learning technique, accuracy, good composition and skillful use of paints. But a piece that calls itself art, should call to a viewer’s heart, right? Ooh! That rhymes 🤣. So often my paintings are accurate but not inspirational. And if I start something that really looks promising, I am halted by the fear my next brush stroke will ruin it. 

Enter Tracy. She’s not trying to be a fine artist. 

I also love watching someone paint a flower with gradients, shadows and details that bring it to life. But the amount of planning required—especially with watercolor, which is an unforgiving medium—usually stops me before I start. 

Enter Tracy. She throws caution to the wind.

The first time I attended one of her workshops she told us not to pick up a pencil. “At the end of a pencil is self-doubt”, she said. Apparently, the eraser gives you as many do-overs as you want, often rendering the rubbed-out paper useless for watercolor. What? No pencil? I always sketch out my pictures to the minutiae so I know what I’m doing before my brush is even wet. With Tracy we use Sharpies. That’s right. Permanent, indelible ink. We place a circle on the page and start using loose swoopies to create petals. They don’t have to be perfect. In fact, later we will go over them again, purposely using squiggly lines! Once all the ink details are there, we can add bright water colors to create a bunch of flowers that pop off the page. Or we can choose to leave it black and white. Or we can add a light background and maybe some color to the flower centers. Or… whatever your imagination leads you to do. I have yet to come away with something with which I’m disappointed. I have yet to stop in the middle, too afraid to move on and ruin it. I can still use my techniques—blending, softening, wet on wet or dry brush—and if I don’t like the result, well I just pull out the sharpie and add a new element! I have learned that these flower explosions make excellent greeting cards, so now I have purpose in my art. I can sit with Jim for hours, mesmerized by colors and designs as they all just appear on my paper, my mind, miles away from the man dozing in his chair five feet across the room. 

At the end of a 5-day challenge workshop she recently hosted, Tracy asked us what we gained from it and why we would do it again. I said that it was a vacation from life for me. Spending time in my home, keeping Jim comfortable is what I do. Not for a living. Not as an avocation or hobby. It’s part of the sickness and health thing found in the marriage vows. (That part should really be eliminated. No one can vow to be with a person through a dire health condition unless they can count the cost. No one, standing before a crowd of friends and family on their wedding day is counting anything. Except maybe the number of minutes before they can be together intimately to celebrate! But I digress.) 

So, when I say painting with Tracy is a vacation from life, I’m not kidding! And though watercolor has always been a great diversion for me—it’s easy to do anywhere, requires minimal set up and clean up—I now have joy and fulfillment in creating something lovely in under an hour. My favorite part is pulling off the tape at the end to reveal a pristine white border that frames my creation, giving it validity as artwork. 

Am I crazy? Yes! Crazy with joy, exploring new landscapes, colors and floral possibilities in my temporary vacation land. 

Thank you, Tracy, for being part of my dementia caregiving journey. I bet you never dreamed you’d become an art therapist. Or maybe that was your plan all along!

PS Look her up on Facebook. She paints live every Wednesday night at 7:30 ET for anyone interested in joining. https://www.facebook.com/tracyweinzapfelstudios/videos/622102840402382